I officially stopped drinking in late January of this year. I did it for multiple reasons, I was never much of drinker and I can barely handle more than 2 drinks of the light stuff so it felt like drinking was a waste of my time and to top it off I’ve witnessed the terrorizing effects of alcohol on people in my family and it’s turned me off to the point that I have no desire to drink anymore.

I’ve been dealing with an alcoholic in my family for nearly 7 years and I HATE it (I don’t like to use the word HATE but…) It’s been incredibly hard on myself and the other members of my family. We’ve dealt with it all, physical altercations, verbal abuse, theft, DUI’s, threatened jail time, multiple car crashes and walking on egg shells because pretty much everything causes this person to drink whether its good or bad. It hurts to have a person in your life that refuses to take help and is so trapped in their own mental state that they refuse to see anything else that life has to offer besides a bottle. Why do you feel the need to drink before a movie? A walk? Going to see your Grandma? Unfortunately the problem is bigger than you at that point, the hold is so strong that your decisions are so clouded that rational choices sound crazy to you!

My mom has been the strongest through all of this and has had to endure the most amount of pain as a result for her patience. Literally everyone has turned their back on her, told her to give up like they did and to worry about something else. But how do you give up on your family? Even if they constantly hurt you? How do you give up on someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing? A person who can’t hear themselves and unfortunately wakes up the next day and doesn’t even realize the damage that they’ve done to their family and most importantly themselves? Alcoholism and addictions is a serious disease and mental illness and the further someone gets in their addiction the more you see that their mentality is not like yours which is why they got to this place at all.

The easy answer is “send them to rehab” and yes we’ve tried but I realize going to rehab is like everything else in life, you have to want to do it, you have to want to change in order to get a change. I remember when I was 17 my best friend and I did a bunch of sessions with an amazing personal trainer, who gave us great advice and tough work outs but we literally got no results from her training because we didn’t care and we didn’t try. As soon as we were done with a workout we’d go to McDonald’s because we were hungry and figured the “workout” made up for the food we were eating. We were 17 and the concept of our metabolism slowing down was foreign to us. Crazy! 

When an addict looks in the mirror if they see a superhero and not a villain it’s very difficult to convince them that they need to change and that the person they’ve become is very ugly. So this is a post to ask you guys a question, what would you do? Or what have you done if you’ve dealt with addicts in your life? How did you get them to want to change their life? I’m truly afraid that if my family member doesn’t get the right help that his life may go to a place that I don’t even want to imagine.

– Andrea “begging and pleading for a prayer” Lewis