(New Video Post) Stop Sabotaging & Find Your Purpose #SelfLoveSaturday – Last Post of 2016

The video above and message below is for anyone who has spent this year and all the other years sabotaging themselves out of their purpose. Stop doing it, find your peace, believe in yourself, let go of your bad habits and step into your light.


2016 was a weird year for me, I’ve said this a bunch of times on this blog, but once again, it was really weird! Kinda felt like Mercury was in retrograde the whole year lol. So I’m going into 2017 positive, ready and realistic. I’m not setting goals for the whole year like I usually do, or making any grandiose promises of how “2017 is going to be MY year and last year was just a warm up” blah blah. Instead I’m just setting up my goals month to month which is what I usually do, and it helps me to stay on task.

I learned a lot of important lessons this year about myself, one being that I have a lot of ideas, but in order for me to accomplish them I have to plan them out in the most realistic way possible. Write them down, give them a deadline and I will complete it. That was a positive discovery.

The 2nd being that I have a pattern of doing self sabotaging behavior, both consciously and unconsciously and this is something that I have to actively work on and unlearn. I sabotaged myself all year in ways that I have already done in the past (gaining weight, cutting off my hair, falling into a depression and relying on other people to fix it) so realizing that I was on a loop was equally shocking and annoying for me. This was also a positive discovery because once you realize where the problems are in your life, the only thing left to do is fix it.

I am very confident in the fix and in the conscious changes that I’ll be making to my life for 2017 and on ward. I’m not ashamed to say I’m not perfect and some of my issues and mistakes are solely brought on my own choices, but life is about growth and becoming your best self for the time and place. I’m going to continue to figure it out, in the best way that I can and I am going to unlearn as much as I can. There’s a quote that I read this week that basically said, Hell is meeting the person you could’ve became. I would hate to get to the end of my days and I realize I held myself back from being all that I could be.

2016 was the year of shining a spotlight on my dark spots which now in hindsight I’m realizing it was exactly what I needed because in 2015 I felt like my self love journey was in a rut and was lacking inspiration, but God said “hold up little girl! You still have work to do!” LOL.

So here’s to hoping that in 2017 I surprise myself!

Thank you all for your continued support, have an amazing New Year’s Eve and a fantastic first day of 2017!

(New Written Post) 2016, Discomfort, Patience & Faith


I broke my camera. I honestly feel lost not being able to use it everyday, edit and post a video. I hate missing a #SelfLoveSaturday so today I’ll be writing instead.

I’m in between apartments right now so my life feels a little more chaotic than usual, and even though I think I’m doing a pretty good job of riding the wave I can’t wait for just a bit of calm and to be settled. I think Mercury is in retrograde though so the uneasy feeling I have doesn’t surprise me. I have a mix of emotions going on that I need to settle but i’m not exactly sure how, which is why this post is going to seem like a big vent session. For the Leos:

Mercury enters Capricorn, one of the hardest working signs in the zodiac, on December 2. Mercury in earthy Capricorn will stimulate the sector of your chart that rules your day job and your responsibilities, as well as your health and habits. Expect to do a lot of talking about these issues this month! But don’t expect everything to move full speed ahead: Mercury retrograde begins on December 19.

I have a friend that I love dearly but there’s a few things that are annoying and concerning me that have come up in the last little while and truthfully my guard is up. I have a love/hate relationship with my own guard because 1. I hate the uneasy feeling & 2. It takes a while for it to go back down.

I know that my intuition is sharp and I don’t gain these feelings for no reason, but I haven’t figured out yet how to deal with the emotions & energy in a positive way. In a way that helps me to understand myself, my boundaries and my friends. In the last 5 years of my life I’ve had a few changed friendships because of this feeling but I’ve yet to come to terms with it. I still blame myself for the discomfort and loss of friendship, I question if I’m just a bitch or too sensitive. And I get frustrated that I haven’t learned how to channel and express these emotions in a clear and positive way.

I want to, I need to.

I’m ready for 2016 to be done with, it was a rocky year for me. I made a lot of upward progress in 2015 and then ’16 came and said “lets walk through this Quick Sand instead.” I fell into a depression again, I gained, lost and gained weight. I’ve struggled all year with what I’m supposed to be eating, if i’m not on a detox, then I regularly wake up with an upset stomach. Literally as I type this right now i’m in discomfort. I lost my relationship with my boyfriend (though I’m in a better place with it now) and I had a good chunk of the year where I had no clue what I was/should/need/want to do. And i’ll be honest I’m only holding on by a thread to the few confirmations that I’ve had in this later portion of the year. And that’s probably the most interesting part of it all — normally in my business as soon as Thanksgiving approaches things slow down a lot, but right now for me, its actually picked up. I’ve been filming for my production company like crazy, and its great! Its rewarding and exciting! I’m doing my best to have a different new year, a different outlook and experience and I actually think the work is going to pay off.

Like I said 2016 was not my favorite year of life but through it all I’m still optimistic for next year. I think a lot of good is going to happen so i’m anxious and ready for it to start. I’m going to try to figure out how to deal with my discomforts in a positive way that serves myself and those around me. And i’m going to continue to apply patience and faith to myself, and my years. Patience while in a struggle and faith that in the end it will all be okay.

(New Video Post) 21 Day Detox Complete! [Vlog] #SelfLoveSaturday

Happy Self Love Saturday!!!

I did it! Woop! Woop! Completed the 21 Day Detox and look and feel great! Like seriously, so much more energy, focus and positivity was brought into my life over the last 21 days. My next challenge is a 5 day raw challenge, I’ll only be eating raw vegetables and fruits and nuts, seeds, juices and smoothies. Writing it out, it sounds pretty extreme lol but it’s only for 5 days and I really want to cleanse my system in every way possible so I’m excited for the challenge. For those of you who are doing the 21 day challenge with me, keep going! And if you’re thinking about starting it, I strongly encourage you to! You can find all the rules HERE

To follow my 21 day Detox Vlogs, click the links below

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7 &8

Day 9 & 10

Day 11

Day 12

Day 13

Day 14

Day 15 & 16

Day 17 & 18

Day 19

Day 20 & 21


(New Video Post) “Make Lemonade” [Vlog] #SelfLoveSaturday – Day 14

Hey guys!

It’s day 14 of 21 in the detox! Woop! Woop! I’m so glad I started the detox and that I’m this far in! I’ve seen so many positive changes and that’s what I was seeking in the first place so I’m very thankful.

Today I’d like to do a check in for any of my friends who have been suffering from anxiety and depression? How are you doing and feeling? If you’re comfortable, please let me know what you’re doing, if anything at all to help with your feelings? If you haven’t started the detox I greatly encourage you to do it because cleaning up your diet helps a lot of depression.

As well today’s video is all about “making lemonade” out of the lemons that life throws you, leave me a comment about a time in your life that you made lemonade. Check out the video below and enjoy your weekend!

(New Post) Art & Positive Affirmations #words #prettypics


Yesterday myself and one of my dearest friends, Rosco Spears had a day of art, palm readings and Shake Shack aka rejuvenating our spirits.

I’m working on listening to my intuition, enjoying my present moments, finding inspiration in everything I lay my eyes on and accepting where my journey has taken me and ENJOYING it! The good, the bad, the ugly, I just want to laugh, learn and love! Today was one of those days where I knew I was in the right place, at the right time, doing what I needed to be doing. Spending time with one of my closest friends, talking about our lives, our lessons learned, looking at beautiful and thoughtful art and eating a cheese burger.

It was a good day.








(New Video Post) “Actions Speak Louder Than Words” [Vlog

Happy Self Love Saturday!!

“Actions Speak Louder Than Words” is a common saying that we’ve all heard a trillion times, but this week I had a lesson in accepting it.

It seems simple but over the years I have had a hard time truly accepting the actions of others when it goes against my image of them or getting something I want. But this week I think I finally got it and then I realized the same goes for myself in terms of accountability, am I just talking the talk? Or am I walking the walk too?

Our words mean nothing if there’s no action to back it up and this week I had a lot of self reflection and questions for myself because there’s nothing louder than the volume of our actions. So ask your self, how often to point fingers in regards to your situation? What are you physically doing to change your situation and who in your life are you listening to in the wrong way? Listening to their words instead of their actions? Check out my video below and let me know how your week has been!

(New Video Post) Getting Results [Vlog] #SelfLoveSaturday

Hey ya’ll!

How are you? How has your week been? I’ve been working on a Short Film about Self Love and it is giving me everything I need in this time, spiritually and creatively! God’s timing is always perfect and he knew I needed to be working on this project at this time.

I also watched a really great Tony Robbin’s video that you can check out HERE about his Rapid Planning Method and getting results. This video made me truly step back and ask myself “am I getting the results I wants and if not what do I need to do differently?” Doing the same thing all the time and expecting a different result is the epitome of crazy and I’m always checking myself to make sure I’m not crazy lol. Check out my vlog below and if you’re in NYC let me know if you’d be interested in coming to a fun event with myself and the cast of Beyond Complicated!

(New Video Post) You Have To Fight [Vlog] #SelfLove


Happy Self Love Saturday!!

I got one message this past week and it was “FIGHT” Just keep fighting for what you want, just keep fighting for your happiness, just keep fighting against the depression and mental illness that makes you think you’re undeserving, just keep fighting against all of the negativity. JUST KEEP FIGHTING.

I got the message loud and clear because it was literally in and apart of everything that happened to me this past week. I love the community that we’ve built with #SelfLoveSaturdays but I want us to be happy, healthy and empowered. I want anyone that’s struggling with depression, whether it’s in waves or all the time to be able to control it and eventually get rid of it because I believe we can. Check out my video below and do me a favor this week, if you’re watching from this blog page, leave me a comment introducing yourself, letting me know who you are, where you are and you’re age.

Happy Self Love Saturday, have an amazing weekend!

(New Video Post) “It Gets Better” [Vlog] #SelfLoveSaturday

Happy Self Love Saturday!

I struggle with depression. I wish with everything in me that I didn’t and that I was capable of not falling into the dark hole that so quickly swallows me up, but somehow every now and then I mis-step in a direction that I didn’t intend to and it takes me a long time to find my way out….but I’m trying.

Today’s video is to encourage anyone who feels alone in the dark, that it will eventually get better but we’re going to have to work at it.


(New Video Post) Breaking Through Depression [9 Self Help Tips]

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I’ve been very open about the fact that in my past I suffered from Depression and this is why I now work so hard at having a positive mentality and lifestyle. My depression started sometime in 2009 and lasted till 2011, and it was a very dark time in my life and it truly felt like I would never get out of it. Near the end of 2011 I was fortunate enough to have a small moment of clarity to motivate myself to find every way possible to break through my depression and change my life and everything that I have done for the past few years is a direct result of breaking away from my depression. Gaining control of my life and mind has motivated me in ways that I could never have imagined. But it didn’t come easily, I have worked and continue to work very hard to be a positive person and I treat my depression similar to a person who is a recovering addict. I am aware that I am the type of person who needs to be in a controlled environment all the time and around people that uplift me because I am prone to being negative about myself and my life in an unhealthy way. Over the years I have learned a lot and figured out a few tips that helped me to break through depression naturally and I wanted to share them with you guys, check out my list and video below. If you are going through Depression right now, please tell someone and trust me when I say, you can get through this so hang on.

1. Tell Someone 

It is so important to tell someone about how you feel. It’s hard sometimes to be so open and vulnerable but when you tell someone it allows for help to come your way. You can not do this alone, so please find someone that you are comfortable with and tell them how you feel.

2. Diet & Nutrition

During my Depression I gained a lot of weight, because my diet was very reckless and I didn’t realize it but a lot of the food I ate was apart of the problem. Healthy foods are so important when it comes to changing the way you feel about yourself, we need nutrients and balance in our diets. Change your food and see how your mentality begins to change too.    

3. Sleep 

Sleep more! I cannot stress enough how important good amounts of sleep are for your health and mentality. I used to go to bed at 4am every night because a million thoughts were running through my head and I was avoiding sleep. This was a huge battle for me to fight and it took me a long time to finally get a normal sleep pattern. But similar to my bad diet, the lack of sleep was also a big part of the problem with my depression and instead of helping me it was hurting me. Normal amounts of sleep are incredibly important to making you feel healthy and happy, so please go to bed at a normal time and make sure to get at least 6 hours of sleep every night.

4. Write it out 

Write out how you feel, it will feel like a release and give you a small sense of calmness. I do a lot of writing through out my day, I write myself love notes in the morning, a to-do list every night for the next day and I write out my feelings if I’m not in the best mood. Writing is like therapy for me and was a big step in my recovery because I was able to release my thoughts and worries on to the pages instead of keeping them bottled up inside. I highly suggest writing every day, whether it’s a sentence or a full page, but just be in the moment and clear your thoughts by writing it out.

5. Exercise 

Studies have shown that daily physical activity for just 30 minutes a day helps to relieve stress, and boost your mood and this is what you need if you are feeling depressed! I know it will be hard and you may not want to get out of bed but you have to force yourself to do it. Tell a friend to work out with you or get a personal trainer who will hold you accountable, just find a way to get at least 30 minutes worth of exercise every day.

6. Dancing & Singing 

Did you know just 10 minutes of Dancing and Singing every day can make you feel amazing! Regardless if you’re an actual singer or dancer, this can still do wonders! I’m a singer so this is easy for me to do but I make sure to sing every day just for fun and I dance as a part of my physical activity. Try it, it’s pretty addicting.

7. Set Small Goals 

Setting small goals for yourself helps you to get back into the groove of things and this is very important. When you are feeling depressed you normally don’t want to do anything at all but it’s very important to force yourself out of this funk and setting small goals can help you to do this.

8. Self Help Books 

I love Self Help Books! For over 2 years all I read was self help books and as corny as this sounds, they helped me lol. I’ve done a couple videos on a few of my favorites here.

9. Control Your Thoughts 

 This is the most important step of them all, you have to learn to Control Your Thoughts! It’s going to be hard but the more self aware you become the easier it will be. Realize that at this time you are in a negative head space and that your thoughts are similar to a wild horse, so whatever you do not let it run wild, control what goes in and what comes out. Don’t expect it to happen over night but the more you work on it the easier it will be.